hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
