yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize