just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
