Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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