just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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