did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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