Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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