Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
