It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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