My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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