can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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