that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
