I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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