His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize