one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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