just come out here and I will go home with you...
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
love makes seman taste better
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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