OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
