I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Welp...herpes.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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