I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
