is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We had sex on a dog bed..
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
