I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
