It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I can't turn off my feet"
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
