I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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