i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
