Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Randomize
