i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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