its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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