I accidentally burped into my bong.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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