The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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