their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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