Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
