Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
