I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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