You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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