if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
