We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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