We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
