and my herpes radar will keep us safe
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
