he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
