Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
