what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
