Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
