shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
