Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Randomize
