lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
