I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
