that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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