i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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