I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
