I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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