im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Randomize
