my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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