I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Randomize
